Special Relativity, Not That
Special
by
Ed Tasca
I
know it seems like yesterday to most of you, but it’s now over a
hundred years since Einstein discovered, invented, or figured out
his Special Theory of Relativity. I am proud to say I’ve looked
closely into the matter of relativity and you know, it’s not as
crazy an idea as we all thought it was.
But
first things first. I think I’ll have to take a moment to explain
Special Relativity to one and all, so you know why everybody thinks
it’s so special in the first place. Now, here’s what I took away
from my research. Special Relativity explains what happens when you
are traveling at the speed of light (C) - the fastest you can
possibly go before you get a nosebleed (NB) - and you are seen by a
witness standing on a subway platform. According to Einstein, you
will age more slowly on your light beam, although your clothes will
be a mess and you’ll never see your Red Sox cap again. The witness on the subway
platform, on the other hand, will begin having heart trouble, and
eventually be taken out of the subway by paramedics.
For
all you skeptics, here’s how it works. The witness on the subway
platform thinks he sees you traveling at the same speed as the
motorcycle. Did I mention the motorcycle? Sorry. The motorcycle is
also traveling at the speed of light right alongside you in the
subway. (I haven’t a clue who let the motorcycle into the subway,
but with everybody flying around so fast, nobody has time to think
about anything but chasing down their baseball caps.) At any rate,
the witness on the subway platform tries to hitch a ride on the
motorcycle. But by the time he sticks out his thumb, the motorcycle
is 67,000 miles away (94,000 miles away, if he took the
freeway).
But,
if the witness and the subway platform were also traveling at the
speed of light, the motorcycle would look like it was standing
still, and the witness could theoretically hop on the back seat and
get home day before yesterday. The paramedics would never be called
and can pick up that drunk at City Hall instead, unless of course
the drunk is also traveling at the speed of light, which is
unlikely, since he can’t even afford a subway token.
Okay,
I suspect that you have some questions, because I don’t think I’ve
explained this as well as I could have. I sometimes get so excited
over mastering a new concept that I rush on without thinking, and
sometimes choose the wrong words and confuse everybody. But I think
you got the general idea, the drift if you will, of the genius
behind Einstein’s famous theory. If you have any questions,
please leave a note in my inbox (I’ll get right back to you), or for
an alternative point of view, look in on Phil. He’s quite articulate
on the subject, and he’s always home.
