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by Horace J. Digby
Most newspapers promptly print corrections in their next issue. These corrections are usually in a column called "Errata." Fortunately for our readers, SandBagger Mag-e-zine has never stooped to this cheap journalistic practice. "It's irritating to read an article
and then find a bunch of corrections in the next issue—you never know when
you're finished reading," said SandBagger attorney Tim South.
Errors are part of the
newspaper game. In fact, at SandBagger Mag-e-zine
we take pride in making them. But we never print
corrections. Readers hate being told the news they read yesterday
didn't really happen. Besides, it's hard enough to understand our
articles the first time without sorting through a bunch of corrections in
the next issue.
That's why, at
SandBagger Mag-e-zine, we don't waste time
correcting errors. We're too busy making new ones. Besides,
making corrections would mean we'd actually have to read this stuff.
But for readers like Tim South, The
SandBagger Institute for Advanced Human Research and Bowling Team has
developed a new proprietary media technology called,
"Pre-Errata." Pre-Errata allows corrections to be printed in
the same issue where the mistakes occur.
Not impressed? How about
this? Pre-Errata allows corrections to be printed even before
mistakes are made.
A demonstration is in order.
Our next paragraph includes corrections for a following article which has
not even been written yet:
Pre-Errata: At line 7, "did not,"
should be replaced with "did." At line 11, "Barry Morrill," should
be replaced with "an unidentified individual." At line 19, "said,"
should be replaced with . . . well, no. That one is right. It should
say "said." Also at line 19, the period should be a question mark.
Now for a demonstration . . .
That's SandBagger News
"Pre-Errata."
-- Horace J. Digby
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