Horace J. Digby -- Humor Columnist -- Winner of the 2005 Robert Benchley Society Award for HumorSandBagger Institute Develops Pre-Errata
"Corrections Before You Wait."(c) 2006 Lexington Film, LLC.  All rights reserved.  No authorized duplication.
 
 
by Horace J. Digby
 

    Most newspapers promptly print corrections in their next issue.  These corrections are usually in a column called "Errata."  Fortunately for our readers, SandBagger Mag-e-zine has never stooped to this cheap journalistic practice.

    "It's irritating to read an article and then find a bunch of corrections in the next issue—you never know when you're finished reading," said SandBagger attorney Tim South.
 
    Errors are part of the newspaper game.  In fact, at SandBagger Mag-e-zine we take pride in making them.  But we never print corrections.  Readers hate being told the news they read yesterday didn't really happen.  Besides, it's hard enough to understand our articles the first time without sorting through a bunch of corrections in the next issue. 
 
    That's why, at SandBagger Mag-e-zine, we don't waste time correcting errors.  We're too busy making new ones.  Besides, making corrections would mean we'd actually have to read this stuff. 
 
    But for readers like Tim South, The SandBagger Institute for Advanced Human Research and Bowling Team has developed a new proprietary media technology called, "Pre-Errata."  Pre-Errata allows corrections to be printed in the same issue where the mistakes occur.
 
    Not impressed?  How about this?  Pre-Errata allows corrections to be printed even before mistakes are made.
 
    A demonstration is in order.  Our next paragraph includes corrections for a following article which has not even been written yet: 
    Pre-Errata: At line 7, "did not," should be replaced with "did."  At line 11, "Barry Morrill," should be replaced with "an unidentified individual."  At line 19, "said," should be replaced with . . . well, no. That one is right.  It should say "said."  Also at line 19, the period should be a question mark.
 
    Now for a demonstration . . . 
[Editor's Note: Due to an unexpected typesetter's error, the errors corrected above will not appear in this issue after all.] 
    That's SandBagger News "Pre-Errata."
-- Horace J. Digby --
   
 

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