My friend Herb just sent me a "joke."

    "If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the Paper?"

    At first blush this seems like a good joke.  It has the elements of a joke:  1.) It uses words;  2.) It is in English;   3.) There is an unexpected ending; and  4.) It is labeled "joke."   At this point the similarity between Herb’s statement, and a "joke" end.  Many people take pot-shots at lawyers thinking that it is all great fun, until, suddenly, someone gets an eye put out. . .  Then it won’t be so funny, will it.  

    I could understand such abuse from the clergy, or perhaps educators.  If people from those learned fields wanted to bash lawyers, perhaps the lawyers have it coming.  But Herb is retired, insurance agent turned politician, turned travel agent, turned coupon clipper.  Where does he get off bashing anyone.  As a licensed lawyer myself (under a different name used to protect the . . . well . . . me) this latest insult was just too much for one man to stand. 

    For this reason I am turning this mater over to Herb’s son, the Lawyer for immediate legal action.  Since I am no doubt traumatized, I intend will hire Herb’s other son the Doctor, as an expert witness to prove the extent of my injuries.  I am sure they will both be glad to take the case, because:  1.) fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree;  2.) they can probably use the money considering the shameless way Herb has been squandering their inheritance, on things like food, shelter, and health care;  and  3.) they might like to get those pictures back (the ones from the ski trip last year).

    So be warned.  It may be fun to slander lawyers, but as we all know, free speech is only. . .  Well, I don’t know what I am talking about anyway.

    "Why does California have the most lawyers, and New Jersey have the most toxic waste sites?"  Indeed!